This project was launched some 588 days ago. I know I have not posted to the blog in a very, very long time. The project was put out there in the hopes that there would be a great number of submissions to fuel the end content. As of today there have only been 11. ***As a side note, I will accept more submissions to include as this work takes on the final form.
I now have a show looming at a cooperative space in the suburban Chicago area. Install deadline is March 28th and 29th, 2015. These 588 days have flown past and all the while what to do to turn this concept into a something tangible and impactful has been floating around somewhere in the back of my mind. I knew the 11 submissions alone could not support a final work on the scale I was looking for. This piece will be installed as the focal point in the gallery window, and as such, needs to be large enough to command attention. However, as most of my work, it will speak in a whisper instead of a shout.
When life decides to kick you in the teeth, you run to the studio and use it as fuel the creative fire. I have been stressing for the last few months over how to create the work and make it also have meaning in the components used. Those 11 brave souls will have their rejected stories included. My recent rejected story is providing the rest of the fuel for this fire.
I met a writer recently, well, sort of met… face to face never happened, things feel apart morning of date #1. I threw out the first contact somewhere around December 28th, 2014. No response, and as a matter of fact, I sort forgot all about him until I got a reply on January 1st or 2nd, 2015. The conversation online was witty and fun, numbers were exchanged. Without going into all the details of what was talked about and such, the conversations were good and both of us were excited and nervous to finally be meeting on the evening of January 16th. Between 1/2/15 and 1/16/15 there were 1412 text messages between us and 258 minutes spent on the phone. Thanks to my cell phone bill covering this time period, made it pretty easy to track down a number count (and yes, I realize that is a ton of texts… thankful for an unlimited plan!)
The date never happened. Questions that should have been asked were not, information not readily divulged from both sides… and the 30+ plus mile commute between where we both live had not been discussed until the morning of the date. This discussion happened via text, and I’ll let you all guess how that ended up. Words were exchanged, feelings hurt on both sides, and what had been two weeks of buildup, deflated into sad heap on the floor
So, here goes how this ties into the final form of the installation... I choose 15 books to dismantle for the final work, basing this number off of the number of days of contact there were between this person and myself. I have stacks and stacks of books in my studio, so I choose many of them based on titles and such fitting into things that would be of interest to either one of us, or appropriate to the context of the work. Counting up all the pages of those books comes to 3124 pages + the 137 from the original form of the project (total 3261.) There were 1412 texts + 258 minutes of actual conversation to equal up to 1670. I then multiplied that by 2, as there were two people involved in this story, equaling 3440 + 11 submitted stories, so 3451 points of interaction. Each piece of paper from the books will represent a point of interaction.
Those numbers (3124 and 3451) are pretty close, considering I randomly picked the books to include in the final piece and did not count the texts until after I had chosen the books. All the parts were fairly random, yet they matched up kind of perfectly.
The submitted stories, as well as some of the text and email exchanges as of late, will be handwritten onto the inner book pages and integrated into the final work. I know how big of a pile 137 pieces of paper took up, I am frankly, a little afraid to see a pile of 3261 pages.
While I am happy I have finally resolved what final form the work is going to take (as the show installation will be here very soon!) I know this project was born of some very personal feelings and memories. The project launched not long after the 20 year anniversary of my Father’s death (just over 2 months after the anniversary date), and the events the night before his death informed much of the spirit of the project.
Events and conversations of the last 19 days have shaped the final form of this piece. It is unfortunate that things did not work out with this person, he seemed perfect, but as we all know perfection is not real. I’m sure his perception of me was shattered also. Humans are imperfect creatures and we do not always act as we should, words have power, and slinging ugly words at someone who makes their living from the use of language was just shameful on my part.
I will continue to journal on the final work and document with photos as I begin to create the elements. Right now this story has a painful ending. This rejection has cut deep. We will see over the next 66 days until install how this rejected story ends.